Parliament Station has been ruined- reply from Metro

October 17, 2011

This letter is a reply to my complaint in regards to advertising at Parliament Station.

Dear Snoutling,

Thank you for your email of 25 September 2011. You have expressed concern regarding the advertising recently installed at Parliament station and we welcome the opportunity to respond.

Network Advertising
Under the terms of our Franchise Agreement with the State Government, we are entitled to sell advertising space on the train network and contract advertising companies for this reason.

The current advertising at Parliament station was installed on a one month contract term and will soon be removed.

Your comments regarding the nature of the advertising at Parliament, in that it is all-encompassing, have been brought to the attention of our Contract Manager and will be considered when future advertising contracts are being considered.

You have further advised that you find the advertising offensive and we therefore respectfully advise that complaints regarding the nature of advertising should be made in writing to the Advertising Standards Bureau.  Complaints against the advertiser, in this case Telstra Corporation Ltd, can be made via the following methods:

  • Online:             www.adstandards.com.au
  • Postal:             The Advertising Standards Bureau
    Level 2, 97 Northbourne Avenue
                            TURNER   ACT   2612

Should the Advertising Standards Bureau find that any advertising breaches advertising standards, prior to completion of the current contract, we and our contracted advertising companies would be happy do remove the offending advertising.

Thank you again for taking the time to contact us.

Yours sincerely

Case Resolution Manager (Metrotrains)


Parliament Station has been ruined.

September 25, 2011

Dear Metro Trains,

On Thursday 22nd of September I disembarked at Parliament Station, horrified to find that the station was plastered with advertising material from top to bottom. This included the areas on the floor at all entries to  the escalators, on the long wall beside the escalators and various other places hanging from, or attached to, ceilings and walls.

As these areas are ticketed areas which I pay to use, I am disgusted that I have been forced to become part of a captive audience of this advertising. I believe that I should be paid to look at the advertising, as opposed to paying for the experience of entering this advertised space.
When I watch a commercial TV station, I have the choice of whether I wish to watch the ads. I can walk away from the television set, or I can turn it off. At Parliament Station, I cannot close my eyes to ignore the ads, especially on the escalators, as I may have a serious accident. I do not choose to enter the station to look at advertising, I choose to enter the station because I am paying to travel from point A to B.

Not only am I disgusted that I have been trapped against my will, forced to view offensive advertising material from which I cannot escape; I am also offended that my enjoyment of the architecture and interior decoration of Parliament Station has been suppressed by the tawdry and tasteless application of this advertising. The underground areas of Parliament Station once emitted a unique and sleek ambience: the colours blue and white, the faux columns, the tubular steel, the political imagery referencing the above-ground building standing nearby. One of my favourite activities in Melbourne WAS travelling on the Parliament escalators. I could imagine I was a character in science-fiction film or an English politician from the 1980′s.
I can inform you that this experience is now ruined. I might as well go and stand in front of a giant billboard for all the sleek ambience that the underground space is emitting now.

As I am a regular paying traveller, I hope that you can respond to my following queries:

1. What are you doing to rectify the situation I have outlined?
2. If you are not rectifying the situation, will you be reimbursing me for the time I travel through Parliament and am forced to look at the advertising?

I’ll be taking up these issues with the State Government and various public transport user groups as I believe public transport is for public travel – not for private enterprise to take advantage of an unwilling audience.

Regards,

Snoutling

PS. I have also heard that Metro is considering advertising TV screens in the trains. Again I consider this taking advantage of the captive user. I believe public transport should be an enjoyable space, where one can travel without having advertising flashing in their face or the corner of their eyes.


Pigs

August 4, 2011

From: Snoutling
To: Dr. B. S. Spam
Sent: Sun, 10 July, 2011 10:47:07 PM
Subject: Pigs

Dear Mr. Spam,
Whilst browsing the internet I came across some very important information about pigs: http://bit.ly/oy8hrY

I thought this may be of interest to you.

I followed a few links and viewed many different breeds of swine. I also started researching the requirements of owning a mini pig as a pet. Apparently pigs are very intelligent and can be trained to sit and twirl around. They like to forage and dig for food with their snouts.

I hope that this email expands your knowledge in a topic which is dear to my heart and that we can discuss pigs in person sometime soon.
Kind regards,
Snoutling

From: Dr. B. S. Spam
To: Snoutling
Sent: Tues, 12 July, 2011 7:30:55 PM
Subject: Pigs

Deerest Snoutling,

Thank you for your recent electronic correspondence. it was of grate interest to me!!!
a twirling pig?!? amazing!!!
My knowledge of this topic has doubled, as I now know that a group of pigs can be called  A DRIFT, A TEAM or A HERD, and that a group of wild pigs can be called A SOUNDER or A PASSEL. Also, a litter of piglets can be called A FARROW.
If a pig and a horse were to mate, their offspring would be called A PORSE or A HIG.
Perhaps we can eat a salty smokey sounder soon!!!

Kindest regards from Dr. Bazzatronling Schiermonnikoog Spam.


McD****ds phone call

October 26, 2009

I got a phone call from the said “restaurant’s” manager- the store which served me wilted brown lettuce. There was a bit of confusion as I’d forgotten I’d given a fake name to the complaint, but I eventually got to the bottom of the story. Apparently, they had just run out of the gourmet lettuce and someone “was getting some more.” (On a Sunday at 6pm?) The staff were supposed to have told me about the lettuce status before I made my purchase, but somehow neglected to pass on this information. I was offered a free “meal” which I happily accepted and immediately felt sick at the thought of ever eating. Probably because the bun will look like this:

McBun

Thanks to MelChil for the haunting image. Read the original complaint here.


Response from McD****ds on disappointing quality

October 12, 2009

Quality Visit Comment: I have just tried a “Grand Angus” product. I considered it to be as tasty as any McD****ds hamburger can be,
however I have a few concerns and queries. Firstly, the “Grand Angus” is advertised on the McD****ds website as containing “gourmet baby salad leaves.” Images on the website and top of product packaging show it to include such green delights as rocket, baby spinach leaves and green oak lettuce. The image on the side of the product packaging shows the ingredients to include baby spinach leaves. You can imagine my disappointment to find that my “Grand Angus” had only a serving of wilted brown iceberg lettuce enclosed. I consider this false advertising. Do you, dear McD****ds?

The product should be served with Premium Salad – which consists of Iceberg Lettuce, Mixed Green Baby Leaves (Rocket, Tatsoi, Green Coral, Green Multileaf);. If you only received iceberg lettuce, we do apologise but the this would be a store based issue and can be raised at store level.

Secondly, I was wondering exactly what is being verified by the the Certified Australian Angus Beef Pty Ltd? Is it verifying that the meat comes from a registered Angus cow? Could you please also verify which part of the cow the McD****ds “Grand Angus” is made from?

CAAB is an independent board that certifies that any claim made for Angus beef is genuine. We use the hind and forequarter for production of our patties.

We hope this helps with your inquiry.

Regards
McD****d’s Customer Service
Quality Assurance


Letter to Stelarc

October 5, 2009

Dear Mr Stelarc,

I am fascinated by the “Extra Ear” project and have a few questions. Is the third ear an exact replica of your first or second ears? Or did you model its form from another beautiful ear?

Furthermore, does the third ear feel like a small pet sitting on your arm, or does it feel like an integrated part of your body?

Kind regards.

Note: I was referring to the “Ear on Arm” project when directing my queries.


Mandatory internet filter in Australia? No thanks.

August 28, 2009

Dear Mr Tanner,
I am writing to voice my concerns on the introduction of a mandatory filter of all internet traffic in Australia.

I think it is undemocratic and the system of censorship poorly executed. I don’t think it is appropriate for a government to pick and choose what information is available to and hidden from society.

If I was interested in the government wasting my money on an internet censorship programme, I would move to China.

There are better ways to protect vunerable users of the internet from damaging content. This could be through optionally installed software or through diligent parenting.

I hope you can voice my opinions during parliament sitting and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the matter.

Kind regards,
Snoutling

….Link to PDF fact sheet by GetUp! on the issue.

….Link to GetUp! Campaign website.


Madura Tea Response

November 2, 2008

Dear B.Snoutling,

Thank you for your letter.  We appreciate your concern about packaging and I believe we share some common ground in relation to reducing the environmental impact of industry.  We appreciate that you took the time to write to us about this issue, so I believe you deserve an appropriate response.

Madura Tea’s packaging has been chosen to ensure it complies with
Australian Food and Grocery standards and Food Safety standards.  This packaging ensures that our customers receive product that is
hermetically sealed to maintain freshness and to reduce the risk of tampering.  Although we are constrained by the demands from supermarkets and other authorities with regard to how we package our product, we also aim to be environmentally friendly.

I appreciate that there is a fair amount of packaging with the tea bag
tray and the foil over-wrap.  Unfortunately;
- our machines were set up initially for a tea tray to be incorporated
into the packaging
- the foil over-wrapping units require a tray or similar to wrap around,
therefore replacing our teabag making machines and foil wrapping unit is not only an extremely expensive outlay but our research shows that it leads to substantial energy demands in replacing our existing machines and in the disposal of our current ones.  However, in saying this, we are investigating the cost of alternatives.  It’s interesting that a few years ago people were attracted to quality packaging, however as you appreciate, the focus is rapidly shifting toward less packaging.

Some of the alternatives we have pursued include;
- we have reduced the thickness and width of the foil over-wrap to
reduce waste
- we have investigated and are continuing to investigate other packaging
alternatives including biodegradable foil materials.  We have found that currently, a product called ‘Natureflex’ is the only biodegradable product available on the market.  The specifications of this product show it as unsuitable for maintaining the freshness of tea products.  As you would be aware, tea readily absorbs moisture and other aromas – this tendency affects the shelf life of tea products. We have found that Natureflex has three times the oxygen permeability and thirty times the moisture permeability of our present foil overwrap.

We are also involved in a number of recycling initiatives and we are
active members of the National Packaging Covenant which has been set up to reduce the impact companies have on the environment.
For example we recycle our waste cardboard, our packets are comprised of 30% recycled product and our cartons are 100% recycled.  We have recently re-organized our transport system from two legs to one to reduce emissions.  We are currently amalgamating our warehouses to reduce transport and the subsequent emissions and fuel usage.

Many tea suppliers ignore the importance of freshness and quality in order to cut corners at the expense of their customers.  At Madura we choose to blend superior quality tea and believe the customer deserves the very best in tea and packaging.

At Madura, we realize that we survive in a very tough marketplace and we aim to always satisfy the needs of our customers.  Any comments or criticisms made by our customers are addressed very seriously.  We understand and appreciate your concerns and we are working toward a solution to the issue you have raised.

Thank you again for your past support of a very special Australian owned and operated business.

Yours sincerely,
(Name Removed)


Letter to Madura Tea

August 22, 2008

Dear Sir/Madam,
I do very much enjoy Madura English Breakfast tea. I often purchase the box of 50 tea bags. Today I noticed that there is a superfluous inner cardboard box holding the tea in its barrier film.
I request that this be omitted from future packaging, to save paper. The outer box is more than sturdy enough to protect the tea bags.

Kind regards,
B. Snoutling


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