Travel tips to self

Do not get a massage unless you are in Japan, China or Bangkok.
If you are thinking about trying a massage at a hotel or somewhere you are not entirely sure will be any good, remember your Polish experience: not unlike a cat lightly marching up and down your spine with oil on its paws then asking “Does it feel better now?”. Then refer back to your worst massage of all time – by a nail technician in the Thai beach town of Khao Lak.

Do not bring your Kindle unless you are spending more than 2 weeks at the beach or a mountain retreat. You never read it on the plane.
There are always book shops around which are bound to stock second-rate crime in English if the situation becomes dire.
Do not take “an extra pair of shoes” unless you are going to a rainy season. One pair of runners and one pair of things should suffice for the average Eur0pean or Asian vacation.

At the hotel’s buffet breakfast- Don’t feel guilty about making a bread roll for later and stowing it in your handbag. Follow the Polish example- one man brazenly brought a large tupperware container to breakfast to ensure he and his family did not go hungry during their hike in the woods.
Another woman, who probably had not even paid for breakfast, completed a quick grab. She ran in with a plastic bag and pocketed not one, but all of the mini-croissants. In the scheme of things, your cubes of butter and white bread rolls are but a drop in the ocean.


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