How to leave the house in 40 minutes

August 25, 2016


Like a good recipe, the key is to prepare the basics the night before.
This includes:

  • selecting your clothes, socks and shoes and placing them in the lounge room;
  • packing your work bag with your wallet, keys & transport ticket at the top;
  • putting your non-refridgerated snacks in a lunch box.

Now let’s begin Version 1.
Put alarm on for 6:50am. Press sleep for 10 minutes. Loll about for 5 minutes. Get up.

7:07 Go to the toilet. (Number 1s).

7:10 Prepare breakfast and make a coffee at the same time. Save moments by swiftly doling out oats whilst the coffee machine warms up. The key at this point is to leave the toaster out of the morning equation. Drink the coffee whilst checking the news and ptv alerts on phone. Set aside breakfast for journey.

7:33 Jump up saying “Shit, shit, shit,  I’m going to be late.” Put your coffee cup in the sink, fill it with water. Leap towards the bathroom and jump in the shower.

7:39 Dry yourself, brush teeth, get dressed, run towards your shoes. Call out to partner/ animal/imaginary friend for help collecting some important item that you forgot along the way: eg. underpants, towel or lunch from fridge.

7:47 Leave the house jogging towards the train with breakfast in take-away-container.

Version 2
Put alarm on for 6:50am. Press sleep for 10 minutes. DON’T loll about for 5 minutes- use the extra time to do a bog. Follow the remaining instructions as per Version 1.