What I do when I’m procrastinating:

Follow the white lie, it’s about 232 years long in Australia.

I eat chocolate; set up the yoga mat; go into the bedroom to find my yoga wear, look out the window; clean my desk; look on Twitter; go grocery shopping; unpack the groceries; drink tea; do the washing; empty and fill the dishwasher; find a pomodoro app for the computer; visit the couch to check how comfortable it feels when I lie down on it; adjust pillows on the couch; make a mental list of the plants that need repotting; make a paper list of the plants that need repotting; check the weather forecast for the next few days; schedule in gardening time on a fair-weather day; play on the glockenspiel; try and find a news source on the internet that links climate change to the houses that fell into the ocean; do a free-writing exercise about procrastination; answer the door; take a delivery; open the delivery; put the delivery down near the front door; clean up all the mess around the front door; drink coffee; fold clothes in the “KonMari” method; practise the bass guitar; look at the kitchen floor and say out loud “that needs a clean”; cook something elaborate instead of making fried egg on toast; read back over the free-writing exercise about procrastination like it’s some kind of masterpiece that might need detailed editing; edit the free-writing exercise about procrastination.

Productive versus Unproductive Procrastination

I have not written a blog entry for over three months because I have been studying. Last weekend I spent an excruciating two days in front of the computer trying to write an essay. The hardest part was sitting down and writing. The easiest part was finding other things to do. Here is a suggested list of the different ways you can use your time when trying to complete assignments. It is represented as a dichotomy – black and white, good and bad – exactly the type of thinking I have been encouraged to move away from at university.

Productive
Going to yoga.

Unproductive
Going out for coffee.

Productive
Writing a letter to my relatives, in Polish.

Unproductive
Looking at close-ups of Nicole Kidman’s hair at the Great Gatsby Premiere because it looks kind of techno-feral. 

Productive
Doing two loads of washing.

Unproductive
Watching an clever cat open five doors to get outside. I’m pretty sure this cat is Eastern European, they are much smarter over there.

Productive
Catching up on Danny Katz’s columns online and finding out that he also thinks men’s fashion is in an extremely bad place.

Unproductive
Listening to a beluga whale supposedly imitating human conversation.

Productive
Writing a blog post.